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Apr. 13th, 2016 | 04:13 pm

CRUCIBLE OF CREATIVE POTENTIAL: The Homestuck Request Meme
ACT ONE

(also known as SHITSTAIN ASSMASTER)


THIS MEME IS CLOSED! Submit new requests to Act 2 instead. Prompts in Act 1 may still be filled; unfilled prompts may also be reposted to the new meme.

IF YOU ARE POSTING AN IMAGE ANONYMOUSLY:
Use this code instead of a regular img src tag to make it appear on the page. You no longer need to link your fanart!





==> ACT TWO
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Comments {1211}

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Sollux/Karkat

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 20th, 2010 09:06 pm (UTC)
Link

Sollux/Karkat: "You're so beautiful when you hate the world." "I don't hate you." "I don't hate you too."

THANK YOU SO MUCH, SOCKPUPPY

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Mayor of Meme Town

Anonymous fill

from: captchalogue
date: Aug. 9th, 2010 06:50 pm (UTC)
Link



Let me just fix this for you, anon.

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NotASenator/Ironsprite

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 20th, 2010 09:10 pm (UTC)
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What, he asked.

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Lu

"i cannot think of a better way to kick off this thing"

from: luzerna
date: Jul. 20th, 2010 11:35 pm (UTC)
Link

(No, neither can I.)



Originally posted by myluckyseven, who is the most awesome.

Edited at 2010-07-20 11:36 pm (UTC)

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PM/WQ

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 20th, 2010 09:13 pm (UTC)
Link

Serving her queen.

Femmeslash and gen are both welcome. Can be pre- or post-exile!

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Re: PM/WQ (1/4)

from: poktanju
date: Sep. 16th, 2010 03:27 am (UTC)
Link

Parcel Mistress self-consciously grasped the medal pinned to her chest and scanned the ornate ballroom. Aside from White Queen and her tag-alongs, it was filled with award recipients much like herself: clerks, artists, bakers even. She couldn't remember the significance of the honour or even its name, but didn't feel that these details were relevant to her -- not when she was unable to comprehend deserving an award at all. Hadn't she only fulfilled her birth-right? Still, she wasn't going to pass up a chance to get some face-time with the queen. Getting to know her was least as good as being chummy with nine other pawns.

"This has come far too late, Parcel Mistress," WQ said with a playful smile. "The fact that it's taken this long for your name to come my way, and that I've had to fend off an inexhaustible supply of beguiling self-promoters all the while, is... unfortunate. You deserve recognition more than anyone else in this room."

"Uh, I am grateful! Your Majesty. I'm very flattered," PM stuttered, limply shaking WQ's hand. Her protocol was rusty, but it seemed she was getting good feedback with her style. WQ nodded to her handlers; they quickly left the pair and busied themselves with other things.

"I want to know you better. You may not believe that I am a 'personal monarch', as the scholars like to write, but I am dedicated to fostering close relationships with my subjects... especially one as effective and loyal as you."

"I'm honoured, Ma'am, but -- why me? With all due respect and humbleness, I don't think I'm really that special," PM waffled.

"Your reputation has travelled with your name: Parcel Mistress of Prospit, she of tenacious determination and yet unflappable morals, fastidious propriety and yet exemplary ingenuity. Don't you agree with that assessment of your character?"

PM didn't answer, only averting her gaze.

"I'm taking the time because a position in my court opened just as your name became known to me," the queen continued, "and I would very much appreciate it if you considered accepting the appointment. I am aware that it is a significant increase in the scope of your duties. But you have already proved yourself capable of the impossible..."

WQ called her handlers and prepared to move on to the next honouree. She turned to the nonplussed Mistress one more time.

"Please, do not feel pressured to respond immediately. However, a quick reply would be appreciated."

****

"Your work is meaningful to me, but our cooperation cannot continue until you accept the committed terms of your command and put to good use the brilliant mind that you present so clearly in writing..."

PM transcribed these words to paper with practiced speed. They capped off a series of phrases that, while very flattering, came across with a wholly intentional air of condescension.

Upon hearing her letter read back to her, WQ sighed and walked up to the window of her reading room. Prospit unravelled below her, resplendent in white and gold against the dark Incipisphere. PM found the view from this room indescribably, subliminally pleasurable, but WQ didn't appear to share the feeling. If anything, she seemed oddly displaced, as if the world she inhabited wasn't actually her own. Ballroom conversation excepting, she was as distant as PM had expected.

At first, she barely acknowledged her newest servant; the only appreciable changes in PM's day-to-day routine were an increase in clerical work and a phenomenal unpredictability in the length and location of her mail run. The Prospitian palace was a damn slight better place for a pawn than the Dersite one, but there was a challenge in rising so many stations at once. Even she would admit to being run a little ragged: it was a constant barrage of messages to far flung parts of the kingdom, constant invitations to graft and corruption, unbecoming advances and general disrespect. Her down-to-board, tube-spun straightforwardness was a terrible match for her new duties, and the officials she encountered made no secret of it. Perhaps the Queen was lying about her reputation being well-known.

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Re: PM/WQ (4/4) - (Anonymous) - Expand

Sovreign Slayer vs Purehearted Monarch (Rings On)

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 12:34 am (UTC)
Link

(obvious anon is probably obvious)

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Fenrisulfr

Ask and ye shall receive!

from: fenrisulfr
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 04:50 am (UTC)
Link

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OP here - (Anonymous) - Expand

Terezi/Rose

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 02:36 am (UTC)
Link

Terezi/Rose, powerplay.

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Lusus pastefile

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 02:57 am (UTC)
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>Luses: Pose as a team, 'cause shit just got...

Okay, dead. Well, sure. But alive lususes would be better.

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Rimon

Re: Lusus pastefile

from: rimon
date: Jan. 30th, 2011 03:16 pm (UTC)
Link

I know this is really old, but I'm claiming it! I don't know if by 'pastefile' you meant pictures of all of the edited into one image, but anyway, I wanna draw it from scratch.

I'm away from home and tablet-less so it'll be a while until I can fill it, but I hope to do it sometime in February.

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(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 03:01 am (UTC)
Link

Karkat/Sollux college AU. New roommates meeting for the first time, becoming instant hatefriends. Sloppy makeouts optional. Bonus points for Professor Zahhak always breaking the chalkboards when his lectures get too heated.

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(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Oct. 6th, 2010 11:11 am (UTC)
Link

i never realized how much i wanted this before today

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(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Expand
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Expand

(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 03:18 am (UTC)
Link

Spades Slick/(aged-up) Rose.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

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the high four-and-a-half

i don't know either

from: nextian
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 06:21 am (UTC)
Link

The dame is sitting at the center table at the Midnight Club, her hat tipped low over her eyes. In the half-light he can overlook the soft edges of her pink skin and look instead at her slender fingers on her cigarette holder. After they play, she looks him in the eyes, her alien face curving into a smile, and he lets the crew do the clean-up to go find out what the fuck she wants.

"I have a proposition," she says. She doesn't mean it that way -- when she lays it out for him it's actually a good deal -- but it ends up going that way anyway by three in the morning, and when the sun comes up she makes them coffee and then, strapping back on her three-inch heels, departs. He is left to look over the outline of her plan and nurse the welts she left in his neck with her painted fingernails.

He asks around but no one seems to know where she came from, what that design is on her calling card -- a squid? a cuttlefish? a dark god? -- even what species she is, though Deuce offers in a moment of rashness that she looks kind of like those guys they pushed around when they were in the desert. She'd look better with the horns.

He tells her he's the boss around here, and she nods very seriously and tells him that she'd never dream of running a power grab on such a smooth operator. She tells him he'll go far. "It's a nice town you've got here," she says, "full of the milk of human profit. I only want a slice."

"What the fuck's a human?" he asks her, and she turns red and says, "None of your damn business."

It's a profitable couple months until the Felt show up in town, Snowman with them. Lalonde is unsurprised by every setback, tabulating them carefully against some arcane chart. Eventually she says, "You'd better take them down."

"You sure?" he says, watching her carefully. He's cleaning his sax. "It'll cost us. Maybe even a couple men."

"I'm sure," she says. "Strange as it may seem. You'll find it's a chronological imperative."

Slick says, "Not because Snowman's in town?"

Lalonde laughs, and crosses the room to kiss him, cutting open her lips on his teeth. "Mr. Slick," she says, "I promise you, I am not the jealous type."

She disappears a week later, gone as fast as she came. She leaves behind her cigarette holder, and he picks it up to find that in his hands it's a fiddle bow. When Droog asks, he says, he's glad she left. There isn't room for a fiddle, the kind of jazz they play.

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OP - (Anonymous) - Expand
Re: OP - (Anonymous) - Expand

Jack Noir

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 04:08 am (UTC)
Link

What happened the troll kids first meet Jack? How'd they end up working together?

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Re: Jack Noir

from: anonymous
date: Aug. 31st, 2010 10:06 am (UTC)
Link

Filled by Andrew Hussie.

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John v. / x Rose

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 05:34 am (UTC)
Link

Not necessarily shippy; I'd love to see those two in a prank-off.

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Dave/Rose

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 06:20 am (UTC)
Link

I'd love some cute jab-banter-flirting between Dave and Rose. Bonus points for witty wordplay and/or dumpass rapping.

Triple bonus points if Dave gets a SBaHJ out of it.

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TavrosxGamzee

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 06:33 am (UTC)
Link

because it's my OTP
haha ummm

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Re: TavrosxGamzee

from: anonymous
date: Nov. 1st, 2010 02:43 pm (UTC)
Link

Is an art fill ok with you, OP?

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WV/Rose

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 06:34 am (UTC)
Link

The most infamous of crack pairings ought to be revived, I think.

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Re: WV/Rose

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 01:41 pm (UTC)
Link

Ha, Lotus here. Infamous eh? WV x Rose FOREVER! (I basically claim starting the pairing I guess, haha. If this is the most infamous 'crack pairing' I'll have to laugh about it)

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Re: WV/Rose - (Anonymous) - Expand

Dave & Sollux

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 06:38 am (UTC)
Link

something friendshippy, idk what
i just feel like they would be two chillaxin bros B)

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Rimon

Re: Dave & Sollux

from: rimon
date: Jan. 31st, 2011 11:37 pm (UTC)
Link

I know this was requested forever ago, but -- Here you go!

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Re: Dave & Sollux - (Anonymous) - Expand
Re: Dave & Sollux - (Anonymous) - Expand

Exiles in the Trollverse

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 01:24 pm (UTC)
Link

Anything slightly based on Shad's awesome drawings of the exiles in the Trollverse/Feltverse (I can't find the art right now with the forums down! PS: where is everyone hanging out now? :B) WV as the mayor of Spade Slick's town, AR as a gritty-yet-kinda-dumb cop, etc!

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Re: Exiles in the Trollverse

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 02:30 pm (UTC)
Link

I can't help with the request, but people are mainly hanging out in #pesterlite (http://pesterlite.blogspot.com/) or #pesterchum (http://pesterchum.blogspot.com/). :B

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(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 01:41 pm (UTC)
Link

I request a John/Dave wedding, with both wearing prettiful dresses!
Only the priest turns out to be Cal.
Add in whatever other details you want I just need to see this happen GO GO GO GO

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Seamus (That's The Dog)

Skaian Wedding 1

from: speaker
date: Jul. 27th, 2010 01:38 pm (UTC)
Link

You may have wanted a visual, but I couldn't NOT write this after I read the request.

---

John was staring at himself in the mirror. Beads of sweat were forming on his forehead, threatening to gain enough mass that they might fall. His cheeks were red. His glasses were edging on fogging. Oh no, he thought. I have to calm down. I can't go out there like this!

Breathe, he told himself. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Oh god why is this thing still wrinkly?!

John began smoothing down the satin fabric that fell from his hips. Did ... did he look too hippy in this dress? He turned around in front of the mirror, casting a glance over his shoulder to try and find a decent vantage point for spying on his rear. The unflattering angle did little to assuage his fears. A drop of sweat fell from his brow, landing on the crest of his burning cheek. Satin just did not breathe!

He turned back to face the mirror, annoyance beginning to overwhelm his intense anxiety. He was going to sweat through it! He would have to go out there with sweat stains! Yellow pits! Wet face! Fogged glasses! Arrgh!

There was a tugging on his long, flowing skirt. He looked down. An imp was scowling up at him as it pulled lightly on the lower half of John's far-too-expensive dress.

"What?!"

The imp sneered and held up the veil. John snatched it from its hands. It was only trying to help, but John was quickly learning that so much anxiety left him little room for compassion.

He forcefully placed it on his head, fumbling with the pins that would hold the hat portion down. Maybe he could just wear the veil over his face the whole time. He'd never see him sweating so profusely! It might even make him look less red!

Yeah, John thought. That's the ticket. He fluffed the veil up, letting it drape over his face. It matched the intricate patterns of satin and lace and pearl that dotted his chest, swirling down until it reached the flowing satin bottom that was so ridiculously hot oh god how could anyone wear this ever?

The imp tugged at him again. It was time to go. John swallowed hard and inhaled deeply as he glanced over his ensemble one last time. He pulled the white satin gloves up his forearms and smoothed down the fabric over his hips one last time.

---

Dave could not stop scratching. The dress was literally like donning a fucking skin disease you might get out in the remotest fucking jungle on earth. His shoulders were exposed and cold, and every time he moved the starchy fabric of the bustier's edge would scratch up against his skin. He held his breath, trying not to move. He'd just have to hold his breath the whole time. This was ridiculous.

A familiar sensation arose from his lower back. Was there a tag in there?! Oh god! Dave broke his composure and began scratching the spot vigorously, his head falling backwards as he enjoyed the relief the scratches gave.

An imp entered the room, signaling that it was time to go. Dave scowled at it. The imp scowled back. Dave scowled harder. The imp took a menacing step toward him. This could go on all day.

"Get out of here!" Dave yelled at it. "I'll leave when I'm damn well ready!"

The imp made a strange noise and turned away from him. It looked over its shoulder, meeting Dave's line of sight, and shook its rear mockingly.

"You're pretty damn lucky I can't move in this thing," Dave said to it. "I would roast you over a pit fire like a god damn suckling pig, my mouth watering over the sizzling juices you'd drip down into the fire as you slowly spun around the spit. I'd even enjoy you with a side of potatoes, maybe make a god damn gravy out of your disgusting inky giblets."

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(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 04:37 pm (UTC)
Link

Scott Pilgrim crossover.

I think there may be no other fictional universe that is as compatible with MS Paint Adventures.

(one of the captcha codes for this post was "caled"; this is not relevant in any way, shape, or form)

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Ice cream party!

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 06:18 pm (UTC)
Link

Pestelite conversation. The idea being 'what are the favorite ice-cream flavors of all the kids?'

Jade: fruit-flavored sherbert.
Dave: Strawberry or maybe ice-cream sandwiches
Rose: Neopolitan. Every spoon-full must have one of every flavor and it must be eaten evenly. It is more elegant that way.
John: Birthday-cake ice-cream in a giant waffle-cone. Sprinkles and syrup absolutely drowns the ice-cream and three harlequin-painted cherries top it off. John hates it, but it's all his Dad will buy.

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(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 21st, 2010 08:58 pm (UTC)
Link

aradia x ga, because I'm the only human being who wants to neatly pair off all the female trolls with each other.

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John, Rose, Dave, Jade:

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:07 am (UTC)
Link

Pose for a parody of this Soviet Era poster (http://www.communisme-bolchevisme.net/images/urss_soviet_poster_75.jpg) with the trolls, carapace people and imps in the crowd at the bottom and their respective lands above (just take a guess on Jade's, it's a jungle planet with a volcano). Иван Эгберт, Роза Лалонд, Давид Страйдер, and Джейд Харли are their names Russified, for that red text on the bottom.

What.

You know it would be awesome/hilarious.

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Re: John, Rose, Dave, Jade:

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:14 am (UTC)
Link

Yes, yes!

FOR THE MOTHERSPHERE

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Re: FUCKING FILLED - (Anonymous) - Expand
Re: FUCKING FILLED - (Anonymous) - Expand

Dave/Jack Noir

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 22nd, 2010 04:06 am (UTC)
Link

bonus points if Dave tops.

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Re: Dave/Jack Noir

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 28th, 2010 05:02 am (UTC)
Link

The kink meme is at homesmut, not captchalogue!

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Re: Dave/Jack Noir - (Anonymous) - Expand

GA/Vriska

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 22nd, 2010 04:46 am (UTC)
Link

Someone has to watch over her.

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Ember

Safety Restraints Part 1

from: ember_reignited
date: Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:15 am (UTC)
Link

They aren't really playing against the Blue Team. They aren't even really playing against the computer. She may be dumb but she's not that dumb, and her history of allowing herself to be manipulated into doing things a part of her wanted to do anyway doesn't mean that she has to play the puppet for anyone who asks. There's nothing to compete against, there's no way to save the world or destroy it any more thoroughly, and there's no reason not to sabotage these ungrateful freaks and cripples who never even wanted her on their team. She has nothing to lose but her life.

"You aren't going to hurt him again."

Vriska slams her alchemized laptop shut to hide what she's been working on and spins around to face GA, who crosses her arms and stares her down. "Don't be ridiculous," she says hurriedly. "I buried that hatchet ages ago. It is an old, dull, rusty hatchet. Besides, we're on the same team now. You would not believe how much energy I have put into stopping that loser from getting himself hurt. He is just so awful at this game! Honestly, you shouldn't be surprised if he manages to off himself even with my sage guidance."

"You are a terrible liar, Vriska," the other girl says.

"Well you're a terrible gamer!" Vriska shoots back. "You're soooooooo sloooooooow! Weren't you supposed to be through your first gate by now?" It's a pretty big problem. Vriska timed this so that she would arrive at GA's house while Karkat was between gates and presumably too busy with underlings to bother peeking in. She had, of course, counted on being alone here.

"I was postponing my departure to coincide with your arrival," GA explains calmly, "so that I might continue my surveillance even while away from the computer on which I have the server program installed. Also, you aren't going to hurt him again."

Well, that's just great. Trust GA to hold up the game for the sake of meddling with her teammates. "You say that like it's something you've seen in a vision." She's going for low and dangerous, but as always it comes out shrill and petulant.

"No," GA says in the exact tone Vriska was trying for, "I say it like it's something I've decided on. Because I have, and it isn't negotiable."

"Argh!" This is starting to go a bit beyond meddling, and Vriska is not about to put up with it. She turns her back on GA and flips open her laptop. "Fine! Go ahead and stop me! You wanna be the one who breaks the chain instead of me? You want me to be the weak link instead of him? Go for it!"

Before her fingers can touch the keyboard, GA steps forward, grabs her by her one flesh-and-blood hand, and pulls. Vriska is caught off guard by her strength, stumbles a bit as she's spun around and drawn in close, and half falls, half collides with the other girl, who stands firm and places her free hand on Vriska's shoulder to steady her. She might have expected it from someone who regularly swings around chainsaws, but she didn’t. She could still easily overpower her with her mech arm, but she doesn't.

"I don't require precognition to know what will happen if you break the truce," GA tells her, close enough that Vriska can feel her breath, and despite all her advantages she's suddenly overwhelmed by a sense of danger and vulnerability, like she's gambling something big. "You will regret it, but not enough. I won't be able to stop the others from trying to kill you, and even if they fail, the game will eventually do it for them."

"I know that!" Vriska snaps. Tries to snap. Ends up whining. "I'm not as stupid as you think I am!"

"I know you know." GA lets go of her shoulder but not her hand. It would be so easy to punch her in the stupid, smug face.

"Then why are you telling me?"

"The better question is, why are you attempting this circuitous form of suicide?"

"Because this game blows! Too much co-op, not enough PVP."

For the first time, GA smiles at her — a bit wryly, but it's definitely a smile. "I rather doubt that's your most scathing criticism of it."

"Fuck you," Vriska says, because she has no idea what they're talking about anymore.

The smile stays in place. "You are a difficult person to care about, Vriska Sekret."

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Sollux and Karkat

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 22nd, 2010 09:31 am (UTC)
Link

From the first pesterchum to bestfriends. Ups, downs, and the random jokes in between.

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Re: Sollux and Karkat

from: anonymous
date: Oct. 19th, 2010 08:58 pm (UTC)
Link

This is sort of an undertaking, especially because canon was sort of sketchy. But I hope you get your prompt eventually.

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(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 22nd, 2010 11:54 pm (UTC)
Link

Snowman is Droog's female counterpart (just roll with it). Ends in Droog/Slick.

(Also, there seems to be another kink meme going on over at some place called homesmut?)

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(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 23rd, 2010 04:00 am (UTC)
Link

That meme is actually linked in the "This is SAFE FOR WORK" part of the post in case you want the darker side. It's just hidden a bit.

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OP - (Anonymous) - Expand
Re: OP - (Anonymous) - Expand

Dave/Jade

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 23rd, 2010 05:13 am (UTC)
Link

Jade drawing a picture of Doggie Jadesprite and Crow Davesprite living happy ever after.

Dave reluctantly hanging it in his room.

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Re: Dave/Jade

from: anonymous
date: Feb. 22nd, 2012 01:44 am (UTC)
Link

How has this not been filled yet?!

Gonna churn this out now. Wait a mo.

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